Joe tonkin- i like to think of myself as the goldenballs of the league. Not the best player to have graced the league but most defo the sexiest and fittest lad to have graced the green baize,lol.

Mark moyle- the wayne rooney of the pool world. can play well on his day but his swearing at players, bar staff and his cue is a spitting image of the shrek scouser. lol

Adam clift- the paul merson of pool. Age is no barrier with lad although time is pushin on. still cannot admitt to been an ex alcoholic but never could merson. Contains tremendous touch and feel and can put the best to shame when in his prime. lol

Andy jory- the white defoe! has never quite managed to cut it at the top of the game but there is no denying that the talent is there. If he can nuture his game in the right direction he can become an awesome force!

Alex lane-denise wise. relegated to the B team even though he captained the A team for many a year. can become terrier when wound up and pinched in the right places and can on occasion play incrediable shots.

gareth ball- zinadine zidane.
can be mental at times in his approach to clearing up the balls, but when he pulls them off he can look a genuis. has the same hair style as the great man and definetly the same moments of madness. would never fancy receiving a head butt off this fella!! lol

jo mguire- david seaman.
At times see can play great games then at others see can balls it rite up like potting the black midway thru a county game!! lol

corran heard- stan collymore! this pumping iron clad lad is the stan of football. a self-confessed lover of dogging this lad also has great ability and is improving each week. my fellow partner on the green baize, and i would like to take this opportunity to state that were undefeated in doubles n singles. well done lad

david moore- not a footballer but close-Graham poll!! the refeere of pool who doesnt quite know the rules as i discovered the other nite when he tried to cheat me off the table at my own pub! but then i wouldnt expect anything less from a spurs fan! lol

and finally lewis saundry- steve mcamannanam. this boy contains good quality shots but like me lacks a bit consitency. (cant spell today.lol) also im not happy he is ditching pool for rugby but the fact that he wont be playing is the same like macca was at real. playing for the best team in the league but rarely played. losing saundry for most of the season will hit the White hart hard. good luck with the rugby tho m8.

Bloody hell Joe, you don't half spout some rubbish but i did have a chuckle at those! Revealing your team mate is a keen dogger - absolutely priceless! By the way, i still insist i wasn't an alcoholic but, after seeing some of my team last night, i think there are a few others who might be!!!

I see Robbie Roy as a Jan Molby-type figure. Deceptively lazy but gets the job done effectively. And will get fat in later years.

Jamie Turnbull - Alan Shearer.

Nothing to do with having a great eye and deadly finishing - he's just boring.

Paul Gee - Phil Neville.

Had a spell with the best, now at a 'lesser' club, hasn't got many eye-pleasing physical characteristics.

Dave Metcalfe - 'Razor' Ruddock

Has got his knockers (oo-er) and may not look the ultimate sliky playing sensation, but quite often a good hoof upfield (uptable) still does the job. Mr unorthodox.

Tristan Prigg - David Beckham

Mainly due to the hairstyle and the better half.

Gareth Ball - Cesc Fabregas

Mercurial talent, undoubtedly a quality player who will be around for years.

And he's very short.

Joe Tonkin - Wayne Rooney

Can look quality on occasions, has matured recently but you still see the odd ugly tantrum rear its head.

As usual, the rantings of a goon. If I was Mr Poll then I'd certainly have issued you with the red card. Drunk in charge of a pool cue and arguing in a friendly game. Ok it was a foul snooker and I told you to take the free ball but you insisted on playing without one. Not my fault, well it was as the cue ball was meant to stop about an inch shorter, then you wouldn't have gotten your knickers in a twist! I'll have to actually start finding my form again coz although you won more than you lost I was playing absolutely sh*te and I reckon a bit like our football teams the power is shifting back to the spurs.

In fairness Mr Moore, if you were Graham Poll then you probably would have just issued three yellows instead of a red!!!

Robbie Roy's going to love the Jan Molby comparison! I do believe one of his fears is getting bigger when he's older...mind you, following his weekend's activities he should have quite a beer belly on him at the mo...unlike a certain other player in our team who won't have a beer belly as he just pukes up in my car instead! Gerbil son, perhaps you should be Beckham or Zidane as i've seen them puke up before as well!

Just like the Chelsea. Keep them fit and they’ll win the league........
Adam Clift (John Terry) The ROCK, the man who gives the abuse to his players.
Jamie Turnbull (Makelele) Solid performer, nothing fancy but delivers the goods every week.
The BigMan (Robben) Lacks the pace, but shows the magic.
Gary Potter (Drogba) Strong and finishes well.
Rob Roy (Cech) There both a bit special.
Gerbil (Shevchenko) Quality player but needs to believe in himself.
The Pistol (Lampard) Some people think he’s over rated, but Jo face likes him.

Heheh, fair point Mr Jory, 3 yellows to Mr Tonkin. I'll just go write them in my book.

Here's a couple

Paul Gee - Teddy Sheringham - May not have the pace round the table anymore (did he ever have pace?) and retirements allowing he'll still probably be playing in the premier league for another season.

Joe Tonkin - Shevchenko - Much awaited arrival but can the man match his big transfer label. Honest answer - probably not. ;)

Well done Mr Jory and Mr Tonkin for the laughs generated by these two threads. You both have way too much spare time on your hands thats for sure!

Just like man utd, been there, done it, won it. Adam Clift: Paul Scholes, nobody tends to notice him during the game but has a massive influence on his team, and both ginger. Dave Medcalfe: Nemanja Vidic, no nonsence approach, and neither mind giving the ball a clout. Gareth Ball: Cristiano Ronaldo, Ronaldo has all the tricks and Bally has all the shots, sometimes needs to do the simple thing. Jamie Turnball: Gary Neville, very experianced and a player you'd rather have on your side during the big games, but the years are gaining on them. Rob Goldsworthy (myself): Wayne Rooney, burst on the scene a few seasons ago but hasn't improved as much as expected, and it has been mentioned that we look a little similar, although i like to think not! Tristan Prigg: Louis Saha, on his day can look unbeatable, but needs to add a little more consistancy. Andy Jory: Micheal Carrick, with andy not playing every game this season this is where i find the similarity, although both are more than capable when standing in. Reactions please? To harsh, not harsh enough!

Oi Goldsworthy (or should i call you Molby!?!), have you just called me ginger??? Cheeky git! I know i'm colourblind but even i know i'm not ginger! Just because you're a bit cocky now as after 22 and a half years of trying you've finally managed to grow facial hair! Anyway, no one deserves to be compared to any Manchester United player...that's low! Anyway what's happened to all the respect my team should have for their captain? I'm going to have to dish out some abuse tomorrow me thinks! PS how come no one's compared any footballers to John Smejkal and his band of merry men at Tyacks yet then?

God joe ur really up your own a** your goldern balls whatever! i tell you just because your in the paper does not mean your amazing come on get over yourself. I'm sure a few of the eagles could kick your butt and have repeatedly come to think of it. you don't give enough credit to your fellow league players. Not being nasty your a fantastic player just not the best in the league.I know why you didn't put me because i'm just as good as you or in some cases better hehe. And dave did not try to cheat you the other night he just was not sure. He was just hoping it was not a foul snooker and he did agree with you. come on you was totally pissed well we will see ya soon to whip your a** sue x

follwoing on the theme
paul robinson - robbie savage - can be a great player but can also lose it really bad times getting on can he get his best game back ??

dave matthews - andy cole - sometimes can be prolific but sometimes can be absolutely shocking thinks hes better than he is

luke bartle - theo walcott - at a very young age still and is full of potential aren't sure if the commitment is ongoing time will see if he turns into an outstanding player

ron davies - paulo maldini - although he's probably the oldest player in the league hes solid and has a wealth of experience

sooty - scott parker - solid player with a solid game whos trying to be more consistant playing for a lower team than most but a good leader and hopefully a good future prospect